full days at work?

uh...I thought I was on my way. Until today.

I got in later than usual, not that I think anyone's checking right now, but still past 11 am when I had a noon meeting wasn't the best. The meeting was about improving the paralegal program in our practice group, one of the younger partners finally got fed up w/ what's not in place and ordered lunch for us to come in and tell her what we think should happen. I got excited, but couldn't eat.

They keep on thinking that it upsets me to watch other ppl eat, and they ask me about it. It doesn't really, b/c I know it won't taste the same to me. I know this b/c I tried sucking on small pieces of food that could only be chewed in the first few weeks and they weren't that good...I think maybe the meds were doing something to my taste buds. But b/c I don't feel anything on my upper teeth and roof of mouth, I also don't get the full range of sensory fulfillment that chewing food is supposed to give. I miss real food, but I don't mind that others are eating and I'm not. I'm not going to begrudge other ppl's ability/need to eat b/c I can't...yet. That's ridiculous and childish. Besides, I had my milk-and-powdered grains shake I could "eat."

But anyways, I got excited about the initiative she took to improving the program, esp. for ppl who had paralegal certificates and might be career paralegals, and who were considering moving to a different firm that have more structured programs and allows them mobility and better pay. This was my first job out of college, the location (city where my OS and OD and family are) was convenient and it was the experience I wanted to confirm my desire to go to law school. I knew the pay was crap compared to what I could be making somewhere else doing something else, but $ wasn't a concern. I don't know when I'll be able to say that again, esp. after I get the rest of the bills from this surgery.

But, to go on about not-so-full days at work. The meeting was about 2 hours vs. the 1 hour we thought it was going to be. We all got excited about the prospects, even knowing that I'll be gone by fall. And by the end I had a headache...that grew...into my mouth and cheek bones. So I couldn't stand it after 3:20 and called my mom to see if she can arrange for a pick up from the train station for me and I left. And I beat the rush hour crowds, which still scare me. But I was ill...I did the warm compress on my cheeks and jaw and my head for several hours and slept for some of that time. The headache lingers yet.

So, in conclusion, the full days of work will have to wait. I hope my boss(es) understand(s). I thought the increase in energy meant something, but I guess the socked-in-the-face feeling is back. Yuck.

Oh, and maybe a couple nights ago, I needed a teaspoon of the remaining tylenol w/ codeine to sleep...it wasn't good. I was so tired and "late" to work. I hate being the delinquent/weakling of the office bunch, I appreciate ppl's understanding but I want to be able to handle my share too.
No more stitches falling apart in my mouth, but they sure were pulling this afternoon when my face swelled a little more w/ the pain.