Sunday, December 1, 2013

Not interested in dating. TYVM.

What part of "I don't want to date" don't they understand?  Sheesh.  WTF? 
I heard my aunt talking to my mom this morning in the living room as I was getting ready for work, and she was saying how she wants to set me up with one of her friends' sons.  I'm not interested.  I don't care how rich the family is, it's not what I want to do.  In fact, that guy my friend introduced me to, who's been in Korea an even shorter time than me, seems to be thinking that this is some sort of a set-up intro, not the "friends of mine, you're both Korean-Americans who are new to Seoul, meet up and rant about your frustrations" intro that I thought my college friend meant.  I'm kinda weirded out.  I don't want to be rude, or to rebuff a friendship, but I really am not interested in dating.  Sorry.  Not in Korea, this is not permanent and I'm not looking to settle down. 
Back to my aunt.  She brought my mom a couple things to take back to the US, she's my dad's younger sister, immediately below him in age-order, and I believe the same age as my mom.  The store she owns is across the street from where my brother and I live, and she parks in our building.  My mom was asking her where a good dentist is, and where to find a few things my mom is looking for.  But she just had to start talking about me and my cousins that she's interested in setting up and marrying off.  WHY? 
Here's why I really don't want to go along with this.  My aunt's a little peeved that one of my male cousins rejected such a set-up by the parents/parents' friends and connections (called "suhn" or 선 in Korean), on the account that the girl was a little chubby.  My aunt attended that same girl's wedding this past April and she was so upset that my male cousin rejected the girl after 1 meeting on account of her being a little chubby, because apparently the family is a great family that controls the fruits and vegetables that are distributed to all the markets around Korea, are great Christians and give generously to charitable causes (indicating good hearts), and the girl lost all her extra weight and was gorgeous on her wedding day.  To be perfectly honest, I think my cousin should have given the girl a chance, met up with her a few more times, b/c to say he's not interested in her just b/c she was a little chubby at the time is very shallow of him.  I'm kinda disappointed in him about that point, especially since her family seemed like such great people, not even counting the wealth b/c money is just money.  My counsin is engaged to another girl now, and they're to marry in January or February of next year.  She's nice enough, but she seems a little oblivious to the workings of the world, but her mom kinda stuck her nose in where she shouldn't have with my aunt, and now my aunt isn't happy with the way things turned out.  I DON'T WANT SOMETHING LIKE THAT HAPPENING TO ME!
So, I want them to understand that I'm not interested in dating, and especially not interested in being set up.  Frankly, my aunt will have another belly ache and complain some more a year or so later when that guy she set me up with marries some other girl and she thinks I've lost out on a great husband material.  I actually don't think she even knows the guy in person, she knows his parents.  So better not to even start.  But now my mom wants me to just go meet him once, and to say no after that meeting, so my aunt doesn't go on about how I won't even listen to her and see this son of her friends.  Nope.  Sorry.  I didn't come to Korea to be set up or to date around.  I'm just not interested.  I will pull out all my hair and act insane if they force me to go on these ridiculous set-ups by grown ups.  F.that.

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