However, I must talk about devil dog today.
My puppy is a devil dog. This is in more than one way.
1. The bestest way that my puppy is a devil dog is that he is a BLUE DEVIL Dog. He may not know what that is, but he is one. Just like we all know he's a Pomeranian, but he doesn't know the difference between his own breed and a chihuahua, which I have a personal dislike for...don't ask me why. Actually, I think I might have been traumatized by the creepy rat-look of chihuahuas and especially that one talking "Mexican" chihuahua that represented Taco Bell. The combination of Taco Bell, a creepy accent, the rat that they tell me is actually a dog and the fact that it talked...in Spanish, no less....I think it's understandably why I would've been forever scarred.
But creepy talking dogs and the yappy, insecure breed aside, I want to talk about devil dog. He is a Blue Devil Dog, and I am seeking a Duke blue rain coat in size x-small for the little one. I anticipate that his devilishness will need walks even when it's raining outside, b/c he's just a little devil.
Case in point: We had a 30+ min walk this evening, but he is currently growling and running around the teeny apt-hobbit-hole I live in w/ one of those long toys in his mouth. He's squeaked the squeaker so much that it broke...it just makes a plastic blup-blop sound when he bites down on that part, and rattles a bit when he shakes it like a small animal he just hunted. He does occasionally drop it by my foot and looks up, wondering why I'm not chasing him or is not interested in his toy. I blame it on my inability to get out of bed early enough to walk him and get to work early enough to make it there before the trial re-started. I tried tossing a toy around this morning as I got ready, and spent 10 mins making him do tricks for each bite/handful of breakfast.
2. My puppy is actually a devil in disguise. I really just wanted to talk about poop, but I must report his devilishness. He destroys stuff w/out care of the cost of replacement or repair. He is ruthless.
He decided that digging through my bag was a good idea, again. He had stopped for a bit, and I thought he was done digging through my bag and stealing from it. But last night, he tried to steal some paper to rip up...and I made him "drop it," much to his chagrin. Too bad, I'm the human that feeds you, you're the dog that must learn to obey. Sorry, life is unfair.
But no more than 30 mins after I got home and let him out of his crate, he decided to fish out a pen and chew on it....and gave himself a new beauty mark. I lured the pen away from him and threw it out before we both were inked.
But b/c chewing on a pen is not enough trouble for "devil day," he chewed up my ipad charger...like the wire part. He's never chewed up an electrical cord so I figured he wasn't interested. NOPE. I was wrong. He found the ipad charger that I am sure I hid from view, and chewed it to the itty bitty metal wires that are twisted together to conduct electricity into my ipad from the wall socket. But I saw that he had unplugged the usb end of the cord from the wall-socket part. So I scolded him and he seemed to feel bad enough to leave the room when I told him "out!"
But then, after we walked for over 30 mins and exhausted an already exhausted me, I found him quiet, out of view. I know that that means...he is in my room, either snuggled in the forbidden bed or eating something that he stole from my little stash of knick-knacks and make up and stuff by climbing on my bed and nosing around. And surely, he was...he found the ipad charger again, this time, he dragged it down to the rug, and had pulled the cord part out of the plug part, and not only that, but managed to dislodge the 2-prong plug part from the small, white boxy part that might serve as a mini-adaptor or whatever. You know how Apple products are w/ their interchangeable plugs/extension cords.
Genius? or pure devil? I can't tell...I had to spend some time creating a negative association for him to that set. I held it out to him, and every time he went to bite on it, I flicked his nose (not hard, b/c I seem to be unable to do anything w/ force w/ my fingers). Eventually, he decided it wasn't worth it and sat behind me.
I felt it was too classic to let it slide, so I took a picture of devil dog next to the ipad charger he just destroyed, sporting the beauty mark he gave himself by chewing up a pen. I shall post eventually, as soon as my phone e-mails the picture to my e-mail...it can take up to a day or so.
Oh no! I lied. Here it is...I titled this image, "Inked and Wired: Cody after getting himself a new beauty spot and supplementing his diet with much-needed plastic and metal"
3. The most devilish aspect of this all is that he pretends to be all innocent w/ his cute looks.
"Oh, I'm just a puppy, what can I do? WHAAAAT? You think I did it? Silly human, little me can't destroy things...too little."
Yeah, right, devil dog. Your cuteness is just a guise and I see right through it. You are dangerous stuff. Stop eating the corners of every cardboard box in my apartment. I need to move again in 6 months.
I can feel you chewing on the lever on my chair, the chair my landlord "gave"/lent to me. Stop pretending you didn't do it. I see your bite marks. Don't pretend I did it, b/c it's at your face-level, not mine.
4. He took to barking at every new sound. The radio I listen to b/c I don't own a TV cannot be heard in peace b/c he doesn't like the voices of the people being interviewed. Good thing I am armed w/ the spray bottle. I will shoot you, devil dog!!! I have a full bottle!!!!!! grrrr....
I can go on, but I really must shower and go to bed so I can get to bed, wake up early enough to walk devil dog (to wear him down and temper him a bit) and get to the ID making place by 8:30 am. B/c I am eager to get a county ID so I can use the employee entrance and not stand in line w/ jurors (I make no eye-contact w/ them, just in case they tell on me), crusty old private-practice attorneys and the general public. B/c I'm not paid, and the only thing I have going for me is the false impression of importance.
(Coming Up: Poop!!, bug-hunting and maybe more devil antics. PLEASE forward me any retailer that sells a Blue Devil doggy raincoat for small dogs one step above the tea-cups.)
